How To Navigate Grief: An Essential Guide

 

 

SECOND DRAFT

Keywords: stages of grief, how to live with grief, dealing with grief.

“I suppose I’m one of the lucky ones. I had never experienced grief until I was in my twenties. Despite my family’s financial difficulties, I was never in any form of distress. I remember the moment it occurred to me. When I was in my mid-twenties, I enrolled in the first term of a college course on death. Why is everyone so concerned? It didn’t matter; different thoughts occurred to me. Although the clouds dissipated as swiftly as they had arrived, I never forgot how they felt. It resided within me, and I would find myself lost in the fog of these ideas on nights.

But it was the death of my eldest sister that transformed my life. I’m constantly thinking about her. I picture her lovely voice echoing around me, and I typically find her playing nearby. I can imagine the anguish she must have felt in her final days.”  One of my colleagues told me about his experiences.

Although this is just anecdotal, I believe the majority of people who have suffered severe tragic moments have these feelings when they feel like they’re scratching their heads. After being reasonably “normal” for the majority of your life, the terrible and unfamiliar environment of grieving might appear quite abnormal. An abnormal reaction to an unexpected event is normal, wrote Viktor Frankl, one of my favorite writers.

I’d be negligent if I didn’t accept that individuals have grieving dilemmas from time to time. Their sorrow severity keeps rising. They don’t feel any better as the days pass, and they don’t know what more to do. Complicated grief, also known as persistent complex bereavement disorder, is the sadness that becomes painful and all-consuming.

What does it look like:

You’re feeling terrible. Life seems impossible to handle. Each day, you are angry and upset or cry. And it’s difficult to envision things getting any better eventually. Is this a simple or complex form of grief? Even for professionals, it might seem like a coin flip at times. So, how can you tell if you might need expert grief counseling?

My immediate impression was that we could all benefit from some treatment! There is no magic number that must be reached for counseling to be effective. So, if you’re considering bereavement counseling, why not try it? It’s a chance to focus on yourself, and discover new things about yourself.

  • Signs of Grief
  • Deep feelings of loss or yearning for the deceased ones
  • Although when everyone else is present, you feel extremely lonely.
  • Deep emotions of rage or hatred stemming from the death
  • Thinking as if existence is worthless or alone without a person that died
  • Caring for the decedent so profoundly that it prevents you from doing activities or maintaining connections with others
  • Being surprised, disoriented, or emotionally empty
  • Struggling to love or trust others
  • Keeping away from the people, locations, or objects that remind you of your loss

If 3 or more of these signs last longer than 6 months, you may be experiencing difficult grieving and should seek psychiatric help.

Stages of grief:

For the first time, in 1969, a psychiatrist named Elisabeth Kubler Ross published a book titled ‘On Death and Dying,’ in which she introduced five phases of grief:

    • Denial,
    • Anger,
    • Bargaining,
    • Depression,
    • Acceptance.

The five phases of grief have grown as famous as any grief concept could wish for since their publication.  Regardless of the reality that the stages are sometimes challenged academically, the ‘Kubler-Ross Model’ appears to be the popular grieving model.

Coping with grief:

It is undoubtedly self-evident that we live in a system that is uncomfortable with deaths. Of course, nobody enjoys dying. We refuse to discuss end-of-life desires because we refuse to accept death. But we can’t avoid death permanently, so after a loss, most families do something quite productive: they begin speaking of their desires. As much as we don’t need to entertain the thought of another loss, this crucial conversation may help make that time a little easier.

Many aspects of life and grief seem worthless at the time, however, when you reflect on them, you realize they should have been much more essential. How long after death did you determine it was appropriate to resume your “normal” life? I just know it would take a week or two.  After that, you’re back to normal life, a new job, a new marriage. This is life, and life must progress. Isn’t it true that “time waits for no one”?

Most of us deal with grief in one of two different ways. Either we surrender completely to our pain. Or we may strive to escape the pain and feelings of grieving to prevent becoming engulfed. Pain and sadness are only brief experiences, as mindfulness and impermanence tell us. Mindfulness is a style of living wherein we remain aware of the current moment – our emotional state, our physical sensations, and our surroundings. Though many people confuse this with meditation, meditation is simply a technique for learning and practicing mindfulness.

A visualization method named leaves on a stream is something that can help. There are other versions, but this is straightforward. Consider a river on the margins of the forest. Observe, identify, and envision a leaf drifting down a river as an idea arises in your head. Return your attention to your breathing after watching the leaf drift downriver.

We need to change our concepts about grief as a journey with a conclusion. And we must abandon the notion that sadness is a negative emotion. Grief isn’t meant to be polished till it gleams with the brightness and hope of something new. Instead, we should pray for the strength to live with grief and accept it as a necessary part of the process. This might appear beautiful, such as growth and connection, or it can appear ugly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

FIRST DRAFT

How To Navigate Grief: An Essential Guide

Keywords: stages of grief, how to live with grief, dealing with grief.

“I suppose I’m one of the lucky ones.  I had never encountered grief until I was in my twenties. Despite my family’ financial difficulties, I was never in any form of distress. I remember the moment it occurred to me. When I was in my mid-twenties, I enrolled in the first term of a college course on death. Why is everyone so concerned? It didn’t matter; different thoughts occurred to me. Although the clouds dissipated as swiftly as it had arrived, I never forgot how they felt. It resided within me, and I would find myself lost in the fog of these ideas on dark nights.

But it was the death of my eldest sister that transformed my life. I’m constantly thinking about her. I picture her lovely voice echoing about me, and I typically find her playing nearby. I can imagine the anguish she must have felt in her final days.” One of my clients shared his experience with me.

Although this is just anecdotal, I believe the majority of people who have suffered a severe tragic moments when they feel like they’re scratching their heads. After being reasonably “normal” for the majority of your life, the terrible and unfamiliar environment of grieving might appear quite abnormal. An abnormal reaction to an unexpected event is normal wrote Viktor Frankl, one of my favorite writers.

I’d be negligent if I didn’t accept that individuals have grieving dilemmas from time to time. Their sorrow severity keeps rising, they don’t feel any better as the days pass, and they don’t know what more to do. Complicated grief, also known as persistent complex bereavement disorder, is the sadness that becomes painful and all-consuming.

What does it looks like:

You’re feeling terrible. Life seems impossible to handle. Each day, you are angry and upset or cry. And it’s difficult to envision things getting any better eventually. Is this a simple or complex form of grief? Even for professionals, it might seem like a coin flip at times. So, how can you tell if you might need expert grief counseling?

My immediate impression was that we could all benefit from some treatment! There really is no magic number that must be reached for counseling to be effective. So, if you’re considering bereavement counseling, why not try it? It’s a chance to focus on you, and discover new things about yourself.

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